That whole last name thing

Christmas cards have been coming in and some days I'm amused by the combination of Mr. Red's name and mine and other times I'm exacerbated. Let me back up, when he and I wed I added his name as my second middle. My last name did not change. Therefore things that are mailed to Mr. and Mrs. Red go to him. My passport, SSN, and drivers license all have two middle names. I am also a Ms.

I am not Mrs. Red. That's my very lovely mother in law and her mother in law. Seriously they are two of the coolest women I've meet in the last five years. But we do not share a name. Typically things get handed to Mr. Red since we've adopted Mrs. Red as his feminine side.

It's our second Christmas together as married partners - but I'm noticing some people just don't aren't getting it; like my family. I know that I'm the first in my family to not take the husband’s last name in some form formally. I'm the oldest in my generation (there's only two girls on each side anyway). I guess I'll still plug away at correcting people. Thankfully Mr. Red is no board to help (like I'd of married him if he wasn't).

But this got me thinking...

At a bday dinner for a friend of ours I noticed of the 5 or so married couples I don't think any couple had the same last name. We were all in married in our late 20's or later, all with various stages of established careers, all urbanites, some with children, some due anytime and some with no intention.

I then looked back on this year with the 7 weddings we attended:
• Two of the straight couples kept their respective names,
• Three straight couples went traditional (including my other girl cousin),
• One lesbian couple went to one partners name,
• One lesbian couple; one partner hyphenated the other kept hers.

No wonder people are confused.